I got a personal journal app.

The title said exactly what it is. I downloaded an app from the Play Store that allows me to, well, write a diary without using a pen and wasting papers. I wouldn't mind having to personally write anything with my own hands but in this day and age, it just seems more feasible to depend on your smartphone for pretty much everything. Guess the corporations have succeeded in ingraining that mindset onto every one of us, not that I mind because this gadget I'm holding is just that useful.

With the addition of having the journal, I'm guessing I wouldn't prompt myself to share more of my personal life in this blog anymore. It is still fun just to let my mind wander and I put in every possible thing I could think about here but due to it being open to the public that might somehow stumble upon this blog, yeah, ain't no way I could go into an extra mile in regards to pointing out the incessant amount of details. At best, I'm just gonna use this blog to continue focusing on random things that might worthy of an entire set of paragraphs, that is if I could muster up the determination to continue with this shit. I wouldn't say I don't like doing this, but if it's not obvious enough already by now, it's just me and my problem with laziness. So sad honestly, letting myself be possessed by this bad quality in life, but I'm nobody special, and it just happens. 

Once upon a time, I played GTA SA a lot and modded them as I wished. Nowadays, I haven't played the game all that much, because you can only do so much with a certifiably masterful game but it is still limited on various fronts, albeit overwhelmingly impressive of course to compare it by all the other games back when it came out in 2005. I bought the legal copy for cheap on Steam, but little did I know the version there is quite possibly the worst yet, due to the problem with aspect ratio, and then some that I forgot about. Who knows, maybe I'll try redownloading it and do my best to put in the effort to balance the game on my PC. I'm still having fun with GTA V, and I have the desire of trying it again soon when my desktop could finally be fixed and I'll be adding mods along the way to enhance the experience, but goddammit, the huge-ass filesize is such a turn-off, especially when my internet is still a bastard around here. Years gone passed already and the internet is still shit and yet fucking expensive. Congratulations, Malaysia.

Oh.

Well, currently, I'm at home, just sitting on my bed with darling besides me. Nah, no marriage with an actual person for me because I am still such a full-blown weeb. I'm not even hallucinating either, so if it's possible to take a guess what form she might be. Nonetheless, I'm quite happy to have her since August 2017. It's been that long since the last time I updated this blog, and she was one of the more recent additions to my life, which I feel so happy knowing she's there, which means I am not alone even when I'm back to my haven. 

I knew a few friends on Discord back in 2017, and sad to say I had left them behind because I'm such a doofus. Luckily, I got to know a lot more new comrade since almost near the end of 2017, so yeah, they are the new replacement to the people I didn't say goodbye to. Woah, this part makes me sound like such an asshole, but I'm just going along with what's in my mind right now, not even considered to check the route I'm participating in. I mean, as long as I typed there and here that describes the things I went through after a while, it should be good, ain't it? Forsaking personal information from leaking, of course. Anyway, my taste in watching anime also had changed now. I don't hate male because modern feminism sucks and I'm also a guy, therefore it would be bad for me to hate my kind. What does this exactly have any relevance with? Well, let's jump into the third paragraph. 

So, I quit watching anime with a male protagonist now, because after watching anime tenaciously since 2012, I had realized just how sucks the majority of them are. Sure, there are some good ones and I still love Luffy from One Piece because he's such a cool dude. Then again, I might be biased towards it due to liking the franchise since 2010. A lot of these new anime also got harem in the genre, and being one of the most worse genres there is in quite possibly the entirety of the entertainment medium, I opted to hate the whole nine yard, driven to a breakpoint after watching Isekai Smartphone a while back because I think it treats me, the consumer like a piece of shit and I also can't believe how the ever elusive bastard that has zero flaws whatsoever could be married up to 9 girls. Yeah, so what the fuck is with that garbage, honestly? It panders so much to virgin and I am one, yet I'm so fucking annoyed by such trash because at least I have some fucking dignity somewhere. Whoever that loves the goddamn thing must have a screw or two loose, I believe, and the fact that the original light novel that it is adapted from is still continuing is just icing on an already rotting piece of cake filled with vomits. But enough about it. 

Little did I remember that I watched yuri since ages ago, and I took quite a bit of liking to Aoi Hana, which was made into a post that I have zero clues what I wrote about years ago but yeah, it's there. Ever since I started to have a bias towards seeing male lead shows, and developed an insane amount of hatred to harem, I started to enjoy more of yuri, and what CGDCT, which stands for cute girls doing cute things offers. These type of shows are filled with insane cuteness, and I feel like I am at my absolute happiness seeing girls that adored one another, thanks to Konohana Kitan that partially responsible for igniting my passion, had also lead me towards the creation of a Whatsapp group that focused on yuri. I had made the group by November of 2017 (man, I sure quote this year a lot), and it's still active until today, currently serving as the most active place that I'm at and wouldn't ever leave behind, plus all of my lovely friends are there too. Those guys give so much meaning for me, and I wouldn't want to lose them. 

Ending this post here, I guess. I may be back if I actually have more mood in doing this again. Just wanted to tell a piece or two of the memory I've been passing upon. 

It's 2021.

Oh, hell yeah. It's 2021 and I am still alive. So much has changed since then, and yet, I think there's not much that had at all, which is nice because some of the things that I think shouldn't change didn't have many changes, therefore keeping me feeling particular, overwhelmed with certain mood and expressions, depending on the subject at hands, of course. I could be happy at one sight, and sad at the next if such a thing is to describe to be in a unique set of circumstances. Oh, hell, who am I kidding with this absolute travesty of a way to start a beginning paragraph?  

I grew older by a few more years, had quite the amount of experiences since then, also finished my study that ended up bringing me to nowhere but instead the life of mounting debts. They hadn't come after me yet, but I knew that someday they would, and I could only hope that I am capable of handling those issues. It is also my fault that I had been ensnared in this grievous situation, so it is only suitable that I handled it alone, even then that took into consideration a person or two would provide assistance, and yeah, I don't think anybody could, or would. 

My English speaking skill, or maybe just typing skill, in an essence, remains the same or may have worsened throughout the years. I still struggle with basic grammar, nowadays used Grammarly to help with the construction of my sentence, and God knows how bad could I even utter English letters now, considering I have quite the rare chances to encounter people that even knew the most basic of this language in my daily life. I got some friends online that knew, but the interaction is limited to such as this, typing and reading, as I am not at all that fond of using my voice to engage in a communication with someone far nowadays, though if I had the mood, I'll still do it. Maybe there's an obvious display of repeating usage of words, and that, I couldn't fix I supposed, because maybe I'm too lazy. 

I can't say that I didn't cringe upon seeing my older posts here, even the ones from 2017 are bad, much worse the older ones from 2013. I'm just fascinated knowing this blog that practically means little for me does bear bearing of importance, perhaps as documentation of past life and the progress I had gone through. Sure, I don't update it all the time, and this post was made after 4 years, I think? But, I'm still keeping track, and it just so happens that I finally have the determination to write a thing or two here, regarding updates of whatever I deemed of having sufficient importance for me to write about it here. 

Ever since I left college, or university whatever I lose quite the time, maybe even a year worth in just sitting at home, and I justified doing it because I'm the errand boy at home and without me, nothing could be done including chores and there being nobody that could take my little sister back from school, while there's gonna be nobody that could take care of my wheelchair-bound mother. Even if it does has an attached truthfulness to the sentiment, at the end of the day, it was just me being lazy and wanting to do no work among the craze infested world that is the society. My father got mad at me after some time, and I was forced to search for a job or two, which I had obtained around the end of October, becoming a security guard, a job that is infused with so much negative stigma due to how bad the salary was, but thankfully, it's no longer so in the modern-day and by the time I had joined the workforce. It's a pretty tough job at first, but like with many things, I got accustomed to it and nowadays had known a lot about the in and out of this career after dabbing in it for 2 years and a half. I still can't believe how trashy the teachers were back in my youth, as they had built this certain perception that being a guard is a job only meant for the lowest in the hierarchy, and I wouldn't believe that even by an inch. I wouldn't lie I was sceptical at first due to the bad belief I had been ingrained with, but thankfully, it all went well, albeit there is quite the number of things that I had to suffer through, which I wouldn't mention here because it's just gonna breach my privacy and I'm not intending on forming a bad name for anyone. A job is still a job, and what matters is that it is honest work, and it's okay to even be engrossed by a series of unfortunate complications, as long as you earn your money with efforts. 

I guess that's all I could say for now. I already took quite the time typing everything here, and I am still at work too and haven't had breakfast yet. Maybe I'll update some more soon, or maybe years later, who knows. Judging by my previous record, I am just overwhelmingly lazy. 

Prologue

The universe holds many secrets, and many worlds. Each was interconnected throughout a series of divine intervention, unbeknownst of its sources. As there was the sun, stars and the moon, various types of energy existed, providing advantages of enormous proportion to the creatures that could use it, and one of these energy are called magic, commonly wielded by most of the inhabitant of a massive world. It wasn’t a source that was discovered immediately however, at least for one particular species, as the process of evolution took millions of years for that species, whom would later be well known for being able to sufficiently taken better control of magic than almost anything else in the world, the humans. Certain other species could use the energy as well, example being of snakes, lions, ogres and goblins, but many couldn’t quite obtained the achievement to use magic to reached the degree that humans could. For hundreds to thousands of years, ever since the dawn of mankind, the world has truly changed, as mankind climbed up the chain of command. Wars had begun between major races and species, resulting in numerous severities and the extinction of the weak. Unity started to crumbled, although certain relationships may still stands against the tide of time and couldn’t be influenced by betrayals and agitators.  These unprecedented events have caused wars and suffering, spilling endless streams of blood as countless fought against another for the sole control of their territories. Those that used to govern had fallen and discrepancy formed from one places to another. However, despite of long lasting chaotic attributes, decision to put an end to the destruction would sometimes surfaced, commonly aren’t long lasting. After a very long time, a successful treaty was finally made, signed in agreement by the leaders of each major race. New orders was issues by the leader of humanity that’s succeeded in the domination of their lands, forming empires and kingdom for various reasons , including of doing so for the purpose of ruling the other species, and those of normal citizens. Likewise, other thriving communities grew, becoming progressive, diverse and multicultural. Huge part of the world would soon become more peaceful and orderly, going through the passage of time as modernization happens and all sorts of developments were made. Unfortunately, many underdeveloped areas were still overwhelmed by the flames of battles, famines, and other atrocities, ignored by the better civilization and that would subsequently gave birth to others that harbored deep grudges. Rebellious actions against the kingdoms and empires were always occurring, igniting retribution that is soon to come.

Somewhere in the forest outside the kingdom of Artrillian, smokes are clouding the skies, coloring it black. It is an evening that is draped in orange, caused by the sun. A village is on fire, and people are scattering about running for their life, from men mounted on horse, armed with swords, bows, lances and spears. Capable villagers tries to fought the enemies whom were dressed as knights with magic skill, item throwing and using blunt weapons, but was easily defeated. After the attack had withered down, a lot of dead bodies are seen on the ground, soaking in red and burning. The perpetrators carve their smile in the dark, but it isn’t long lasting due to sudden attack from the nearby wood. Men wearing robes comes out in considerable numbers, also using horses and armed with weapons, ready for combat. Unaware knights were caught by surprise, and killed in the ambush through being stabbed through their armored chest, penetrated by magic infused swords. Arm was sliced and heads was beheaded. However, the numbers of the newly arrived retaliators was heavily out weighted by their enemies, increasing the fighting spirits of the attacked group.

“They are outnumbered! Show no fear and kill them all!”

The tide wasn’t quickly overturned due to the skillfulness of the men in robes. Arrows, swords and spear strike was deflected by magical shield, casted by the opposition. They’re proven to bear the strength of many, but even an ant could injure a giant if unity was made. Few of the knights attacked a single man, focusing their magic based attack that comes out as a torrent of red light from their right palm. The target noticed the oncoming beam and tried to block with the shield he carried but the force were strong enough to caused him to fall off from his horse. Being on foot, he quickly gathers his stability after falling to his back and throw away the used up shield. A dual arming sword was unsheathed from his belt, hidden behind the long robes that also covered his face. His horse ran off and he had to make do on foot, running quickly to reach his opponents. His fast movement is disorienting and the knight couldn’t keep up, asserting that he is very fast. Not a few seconds later, he managed to get near his target and cut off the legs of a horse, resulting in the rider to tumble down to the ground with the animal. He didn’t pay any heed to the fallen one and resume to attacking more of the horses around him. Right after the previously brought down knight get back to his own two feet, his head was chopped off in an instant by one of the other men in robes. The same action was repeated for a few times, with the leg of the horses was cut and its riders fall, and was immediately killed after they’ve stand up. Many of the other armored men are having difficulties in the battle, with their numbers dwindling and one of them could tell that it wouldn’t end well.

“Fuck, we’re all going to die at this rate. This isn’t what was supposed to happen!”

Completely distracted, he spoke alone, not realizing that someone is gaining distance toward him. His horse however noticed, neigh loudly before jumping. He is startled by the sudden motion and with that, caught sight of an approaching entity on his right eye. He is about to move his sword, but everything is too late as two arming swords flashes in red before his very eyes, and is used to cut off the right leg that’s riding the horse. The animal spurted out blood before falling down, trapping the gravely injured rider by its heavy weight. The man is screaming in pain, helplessly unable to move. Nearby knights saw the incident and one of them yell out an order.

“Sir Rialdo had been taken out! Retreat!”

As the knights soon started galloping away from the battleground, the location became quieter, filled with the sound of agonizing pain and burning matter, soon to be turned into ashes. The man with the dual arming swords is staring at Sir Rialdo, whom face is overwhelmed with horror, though he could still talk.

“W—who are you people?! Do you know what would happen---“

He is intercepted before he could finish.

“Yes. I know what would happen. Every one of you kept mentioning the same thing before ended up dead. The question is however, are people like you prepared to answer for your sins?”

Being scared by a gaze, Sir Rialdo ended up speechless. One of the men in robes approached them, soon to be talking as he lowered his hood.

“Leonard, the enemies had run off to the plains of Agertha. There are more villages over at that side, and we need to stop them from committing more atrocities. Some of the others are already pursuing them.”

‘Leonard?’, whispered Rialdo, as he’s listening to the conversation.

“How many more are left?”

“There are approximately 25 more of them. And all 10 of our men are still alive, while we succeeded in killing 15 of the enemies”.

The comrade continues explaining, followed by Leo as he’s asking something else.

“Do we have any information concerning the headquarters of these knights?”

“No. But I still believe that they’re sent by someone in the royal castle, even if these men wore no specific insignias and marking”.

As he had finished talking, Leo sent him on his way.

“You go on ahead and treat the wounds of the surviving villagers. Gather them all and I will come by for further instructions”.

He acknowledged the order and move on. Leo looks back at the man beneath his feet. He slash the air using the left sword to rid it of blood, before sheathing it inside a scabbard that was hang onto his belt, and speak afterward.  

“Who are you working for?”

A question was asked but Sir Rialdo kept his silence.

“What is the next village that you intended on destroying?”

Once again, no word was uttered. Leo suddenly bowed down, brought about a strong sense of bewilderment to the enemy in front of him.    

“Thank you for following my expectation. I’m grateful that you are loyal.”

As soon as Leo stand properly again, he lowered his hood, revealing a bright, blonde hair. Rialdo was deeply shocked by the sighting, and open his eyes wide.

“You!”

Before he could continue any further, his throat was unable to speak anymore and his vision started spinning, before coming to a stop a second after. He could only see a glimpse of the orange sky, mostly shrouded by black smoke. His consciousness slowly dissipated, as everything is going dark.

   

    

      

Some things just never change.

11/05/2017

Heh, its been a while apparently since my last post here, approximately 7 days later. I've been caught up with exams stuff lately and including busy working with my chapters, which isn't going too well, to be honest. Its not that I don't have any idea or anything, in fact, its been roaming in my head 24/7 but putting in down in words is hard when my English hasn't been all that good in the first place, especially regarding my tense and grammar skills. Its truly hurt knowing that your English mastery hasn't been always that good in the first place, despite of being praised and revered for it back in high school and during the earlier days at Unisel. These days, my typing skills had been referred to as vomit inducing too, which added more into the anguish of having to realized the revelation that I thought I was typing something fancy but hell, my worthiness isn't even equivalent to the possession of English skills belonging to an natural English speaking middle school kids. It truly angers me a bit to be honest, being told that what I could do is merely nothing and overwhelmed with errors, since people around me had always told that I'm flawless with this language and capable of continuing into the highest level just by dwelling in this sort of study alone, a thing that I had realized to be somewhat a conspicuous amount of exaggeration.

And now to avoid from continuing that opening which seems to cut deep on the edge and self insults, I haven't been willing to make much new posts here now than before, as the reasons was stated earlier, exams is bringing me down a bit and I'm busy trying to find the best way to describe my ideas and turn it into an amazing story line, well, not amazing I think but at least, somewhat enjoyable. My prologue is almost done, and the first chapter is moving slowly but smooth. I'm still wandering whether I should give names or not to the magical enchantment but at the same time, it would be too much of a bother to do so because my head is already full of having to focus on other things as well, like the plot, settings, characters, monsters, weapons, kingdoms, empires and all that relevant shit. Luckily still, I still have the supports of my beloved friends at the discord server, and I totally appreciated that they've have been helping me out with things, even in trying to tell me that what I wrote is chocked full with craps and errors. To be honest, I was very angry when I was told that my grammars and tenses is bad, like I've said before but I guess that guy does meant guy since he's trying to assist me and all. The thing is though, I don't really help with that right now because all I want to do is to type and spread everything in my head onto a piece of virtual papers. I just really want to clear all of it out of there, and we can talk about all the editing that I need later on, that is, if I even managed to succeed in finishing a chapter or the prologue. I'm kinda bummed out as the progress is advancing like a turtle that's trying to move from one point to another. 

For the third paragraph here, I want to talk about my experiences with anime groups on Facebook. I had talked about this before in my posts back in the older days I believed, since I had "infiltrated" these kind of settings since 2013 and 2014. To give more clearer information on these groups, its all anime groups that was made at Malaysia, as almost all the members are from the same nation too, just like me. I'm simply going to talk about one group that is, since they're entirely similar to one another in terms of contents and comments. I do believed this is actually the same group that I had joined before sometimes ago, which is an absolutely weird coincidence and its also pretty amazing in knowing that the group had succeeded in being active for over 4 to 5 years already, an absolute rare feats for an online community. Well, I guess it isn't really that rare when you still have places like reddit but I hope anyone could get a drift of what I'm meant by that. No? I don't care still. 

Since I forgot the password to my first ever Facebook account since I was being so stupid and changed the password into something else by that time and accidentally forgot what it was by the day's after, I had to make a new account, which I already did by last year and visited the groups all over again, in trying to check on the notion whether what's going on with the daily Malaysian anime fans community. Not to my bewilderment of course, things have never really changed. 

Posts talking about hating on ecchi and old cliches are still happening, which may seems understandable at first because yeah, who really like watching another magical academy crap, swords wielding male harem protagonist that's gonna get girls fawning over his dick even though that he's so dense and stupid and such? Of course, I don't mind at all with these kind of things even though that I'm sounded like trying to mock on it but I'm just doing in to represent the overall opinions regarding such subject. I just don't really like harem and romance right now so I'd usually stay away from those titles instead of talking shit about them since its simply time wasting and ignorant to kept uttering bad words about the subjects that you disapproved off. Its really just that simple in the end, if you don't like something, don't watch it, let others enjoy it and go do your own thing but no, some people really got to make it worse for other relevant parties. In this season alone, there isn't all that much ecchi and harem stuff, which I could tell since I'm following a lot of titles every seasons. I may or may not watch them however and only knew about the existence of it so, my view may not worth all that much either, as well as my opinion. To make off with a list, lets see how many anime that I knew about in this season.

There's Tsuki ga Kirei, Renai Bokun, Bahamut season 2, that chinese chanime thing, Shingeki no Kyojin season 2, Sin Nanatsu no Taizai, Uchouten Kazoku Season 2, Sakura Quest, Frame Arms Girl, Gin no Guardian, Natsume Roku (season 6 or 7), Hinako Note, Little Witch Academia, Boku no Hero Academia, Rokudenashi Akashic, Souryo to Majiwaru, Eromanga sensei, Saenai Heroine season 2, Alice to Zouroku, Boruto, Re;Creators, Atom The Beginning, Berserk 2017, Clockwork Planet, 100% Pascal Sensei, Fukumenkei Noise, Kenka Banchou Otome, Kyoukai no Rinne season 3, Love Kome, Monster Strike 2, Oushitsu Kyoushi Hain, Sagrada Reset, Seikaisuru Kado, Tiger Mask W, Warau Salesman NEW, Twin Angel Break, Yowamushi Pedal New Generation, Granblue Fantasy, Busou Shoujo Machiavellianism, Danmachi Oratoria and...that's all I know off, I supposed. 

I knew where I'm going with this but hell, its like the best kind of argument to be made against people that are so shallow and ignorant that they had to resorted toward making claims as if the industry have nothing to offer but recycled cliches and ecchi to them, despite of the fact that there's barely a few titles every season that could even be considered as a direct suitable content for their unaware heart to kept hating at. From what I could see here anyway, the criteria that could meet these so called "ecchi and worthless harem shit" are Renai Bokun, Sin Nanatsu, Busou Shoujo (?), Eromanga, and...well, what do you know? I counted at least 4 alone. 4 out of fucking 40 titles. Rokudenashi shouldn't even be considered as an ecchi or an harem because only the first episode had fanservice and the main girls ain't even flocking to the main protagonist, it also have entertaining contents at the same time. Eromanga isn't so much of a trash as I find it to be very enjoyable and funny as well, even if it totally fit the criteria because hell, what do you know?! I'm not a part of their "I'mma hate on this shit here" guild. Sin Nanatsu have been so much of a guilty pleasure due to its all girls characters and delicious services. I'm no really sure about Renai Bokun and Busou Shoujo myself because I don't watch them but I do have the title in my hard drive. From my sight so far, these two titles are probably a harem, with Renai Bokun having said to be truly pleasant to watch, thus far. Souryo to Majiwaru actually have fanservice and adult content but I didn't put it on the list because its a serious show that isn't designed to be an ecchi or anything like that. 

Well, there it is for my post thus far for today. I managed to prove that those people at the group are somewhat clueless and being hateful and I'm having fun with it. There's a lot more contents to speak off regarding their action there such as hating on the Japanese animation industry as well but I don't really want to talk about that right now. I may not update things as frequent anymore since I want to work on my chapters. Good bye.

There's things to talk about now.

04/05/2017

All right, first of all, I'm kinda pissed off right now. However, I'm trying my best to suppressed my anger but it isn't going very well while I'm typing this, not to mentions the fact that I was spelling suppressed wrong and I didn't have the idea it was supposed to be spelled like that instead of "surpressed". Google was there to help me, that is, and without it, I might've trashed this laptop already but that wouldn't happen either probably. There would be nothing for me to use if that was the case, and I ain't some motherfucking rich dumbass that kept acting like a jerk, drove a goddamn Nissan Murano and lived in some place where the currency is valued greatly but still could complained about their so called expensive gas per liters despite of the fact that their pockets are deep and owned an expensive laptop! (plus figurines and whatever else the fucking thing that they kept).

It has been quite a few days ever since I'd last posted here, partly because I was busy these days doing nothing and was too tired to accomplish anything of sorts that's worthy of being called as an great self achievements. I saw my last post here back before I were heading to my village for some free foods and a bit of works, and its been cut short because the stupid blogger app on android is too buggy. There's much to it than just a few hundred (that is if it even reached that many) words and it was all forfeited, sucked into a black hole of stupid programming.

 Update - --- -- - -
Okay, so, currently its been 4 to 5 hours since my last paragraph above, as I discontinued this post and ended up chatting on discord instead about my old work. Luckily however, doing so gave me the spirit to continue working on that thing again, plus they're all nice, yasashi minna. Okay, I may spelled that Japanese wrong but I don't really care right now, to be honest. Also, I'm no longer as furious as before, which is good for me because its not really my thing to be so angry and mocked people but I'm not gonna stave away all that pent up anger above, gotta be honest with myself.

I'm gonna end this post for now, since I'm caught with discord again and I really need to work on that novel of mine. Hope I could make better post here soon!

No idea once again.

Wow, I was making quite a bit of progress already on this post here when I was about to get into it, the whole things that were already typed gone, into thin air. Guess that's a bit of a problem with the android version there, quite an annoyance indeed, or its just me being a first timer in using the app version. I'm forced to used a phone to make this post here because I'm in a car right now. I supposed its back to the starting line again.

Its Friday night on 28th April. Being in this car already for half an hour is making me nauseous, probably due to all the bumps on the fucking road. On the way heading to the village right now, as there's a feast that's gonna be held there tomorrow due to a relative's marriage. Wasn't particularly interested in interacting with most of them since many just kept doing their own things whenever everyone would gathered, me included. All that could garner my interest tomorrow is dwelling with free food and all you can eat buffet. As a bit of a late reminder, this post is gonna be even more simplified because of the lack of conveniences that's available on the app version of blogger here, enhanced by the small screen of my android too.

Another day.

Wednesday, 26/04/1997 ---- wait, 2017, clocked at 15:06 pm.

It's another day for me, nothing special had occurred. Haven't went to discord for at least 2 days because my line has been totally trashed by the service provider, and due to overwhelming amount of works all of a sudden. Guess it would have been more useful and easy for me to do these shit since back then but alas, I'm so lazy and predictable. Enough with the self mockery that has been accumulating since past posts for now which make me seems not assured and had weak faith of myself, I'm all out of cash, wondering where I did wrong. The money was inserted yesterday but for some reason, its totally out of bound just after a day, perhaps due to unnecessary expenses and the increased wages of daily items, that I had noticed been increasing lately, again and again. I'm not even sure why our country here is still running, but I ain't going that far into such section and talk about it here of course, because that would make this blog of mine as a target, no matter how anonymous it is right now.

Guess I'm gonna talk about anime or something here that would fill the rest of the paragraph here. I was thinking of making up a post with a better topic for the future, and of course, it shan't be operate at this very moment as its gonna be a material for future endeavor, rest assured. The anime that I had been following this season has been doing plenty splendid, just like it has always been, truthfully. I'm not abandoning any title right now, and don't feel like doing it too, which is good for my soul in one way or another. Just finished Rokudenashi and the episode felt a bit hasty, guess that they're skipping stuff there and here but it still feel great overall. Sisti and Rumia are very adorable characters. Jumping onto another boat, I'm also enjoying Frame Arms Girl very much, thanks to its full dosage of female characters and funny interaction between the girls of the show. It has been such a blast, definitely taking a liking to it mainly because the main protagonist that was focused on is a girl instead of another dude, that's usually served as the usual formula for such show. The rating for the anime was ridiculously low however, being at 6.06 on Myanimelist and 2.04 something on Anidb. At the end, it doesn't matter anyway, because personal enjoyment is all that matters for yourself, from my perspective, that is. To talk about some other things aren't really legible right now, as I really have no idea what's else to talk about and discuss. I had watched a lot of shows so far but talking about it hasn't always been one my strong suite. Got so works that needing to take care of too, should really get into it. Will let this post finish up here for now, and dwell into a better topic by the next session. 

No idea for a title.

25/04/2017
15:13pm.

I don't have much free time to visit Discord right now but I do have enough to make another blog post, for whatever reason. Was thinking of making one yesterday but I think laziness got the best of me entirely, again. I'm just hoping that I wouldn't end up abandoning this blog again like I did back then, though then again, I don't have any ability to commence confirmation for that. People can get bored very easily, more so someone that's doing this just for the sake of it.

Inventing another randomness into the fray, I was thinking of rebooting my novel --- again, just because I think that I had a much better grasp in English these days rather than my days before. However, I did noticed I'm more akin to make use of a lot more vocabulary in my past, and I don't know why I'm losing the possession of more fancy words. Guess I had been consuming too much ants again. There's some kind of belief that stated if you were to drank ants, you would soon grow easy to forget things, which seemed doubtful, to be honest. Now, perhaps I should have been taking care of myself better as well, an action that I had been ignoring in some aspect like joining the force of exercise prevention and disregarding a quite mid amount of assignments. Seeing that I'm not really that ill-bodied nor am I'm an obese or easy to catch fever, would of course driven me to do nothing that could be called as an act of exercising and maintaining my body. I'll have been walking a lot throughout my life, like any normal human that is that relied on their feet everyday but, I'm thinking that could had been a form of exercise as well, and I'm relying on doing that solely for now just to keep my feet going, at the very least. My sister have been telling me to lift weights but ain't nobody got time for that. Concerning of my assignments, I'm not really interested at all with the course that I had been taking for these past 2 years and hence, it's natural for me to not feeling the obligation to do shit that I don't like, but at the same time, it is also natural to say that I'm a fucking idiot and a lazy dumb ass. I will still try to garner whatever strength I had and obtain the conviction to make changes to myself, albeit that's probably gonna take a while to happen. I must be hasty of course, as I'm not getting any younger and should've have a job by now but certain circumstances arrived sometimes. The best I can do is to make sure that I will be able to finish this Multimedia course of mine that's gonna be over by December this year.

Back at September 2014, my mother was sick due to a mild stroke that paralyzed half of her body. This happened days after I wrote my last post here, at least I think so, anyway. She was bedridden for months, and I took care of her along the way, with each passing days. I'd received the offer to take the course aforementioned before at a college that was located just 20 kilometers something away from me, and it was quite a blessing, truthfully. Being home bound isn't exactly good, and my mother was slowly recovering at the time. She's pretty much better now at this moment, but she still can't walk properly. It wasn't much of a hassle for this kind of event to transpire, in fact it might've developed me into being a better person, which is a fact that's false or true, who knew. I'm still wondering whether I would be able to become involve in any field that focused on English again, because I do like speaking this language very much and would be happy to get into a job that's in relation to it. After 10 minutes of staring, I'm gonna have to end this post here. There's some more works that need to be done.

Another things to speak off.

Good morning. It's now at 10:12 am on Saturday, April 22th currently as I'm working on this. Just finished Hinako Note 3rd episode not a while ago and it is as heartwarming and moe as always. It was however honestly annoying for me to see how Nakajima Yuu kept acting toward the titular character, though luckily, she didn't continued with the overall negative attitude and Hinako displayed her affection to the new cast member. Guess it should had been expected for the route to go down that way because people wouldn't normally wanted to watch someone that kept being bossy and antagonistic in a slice of life shows, at least for me anyway. My sister also forced me to have a look at Re;Creators yesterday and oh boy, how glad I am that she make me did so. It was a brilliantly done show so far with interesting theme, characters and perhaps, a glaringly pathetic looking spectacle boy as the so called narrator but, at least he's pretty okay so far so I'm fine with that. Secretly however, I'm hoping that the show wouldn't be a harem, which might not seems to be possible due to the introduction of another "creator", plus the anime is very gender balanced. I'm guessing that the "creators" are meant to looked like actual normal humans for the sake of being realistic and following the theme that the show is carrying, Onward to another topic..

Putting up with a junction between paragraph here and there to make things readable, I was meaning to jump toward making a discussion about this 2 months old topic down here. I didn't realized of it until yesterday, when someone sent a link at Discord stating that GSC, a major film distributor around here had decided not to release Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice) on their cinema. I'm guessing that I had been slow in noticing about these things because I haven't bother to surf the internet more often for information.  

http://goboiano.com/malaysia-and-singapore-could-get-blacklisted-from-future-anime-movie-releases/

It concerned of the fact that back when Sword Art Online Ordinal Scale was airing on the local cinema here at Malaysia, someone/numbers of people deliberately was able to recorded at least 8 to 10 minutes worth of contents of the aforementioned movies using whatever sort of methods and subsequently uploaded the material online, which had also become the reason why GSC wouldn't want to play Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice). This had as well resulted in the companies that's responsible for distributing the movie here to become outraged and had threatened to blacklisted Malaysia and Singapore from their next area of distribution. Disregarding the notion that I have no idea why Singapore is being considered as a participate in the crime which I believed to be held responsible by the idiots around this very country, some fans of course, aren't satisfied with the decision from Japan and had some backlash of their own.

https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/comments/5w8jhs/malaysia_and_singapore_could_get_blacklisted_from/

Most people were infuriated and reprimand severely of the consideration for the blacklist, with some claiming that it is stupid to reduce the amounts of potential customers and they've (Japanese anime executives that's involved) also should had more of a backbone. Of course, as usual as it is with many Reddit threads out there, comments that spoke of the honest, brutal truth were down voted and ignored, whilst the speakers that shared the same, common thought with the other packs are carried onward on board a mat made out of gold silk. As anyone could see, I am not in agreement with most of the people there, and if I were to be blunt, they've just didn't realize of the bigger pictures.

Anime, as most knowledgeable fans would knew, are a niche entertainment, even in its home country. Most anime series that's aimed for teenage and adults only aired very late at night at Japan, and many considered anime otaku to be creepy, perverted, basement dwelling person that failed in life and communication. These stereotypes had been enforced since back then and remained until today, caused mainly by a person called Tsutomu Miyazaki that had killed kids during the 1990s, and also an alleged anime and horror fans as well. His crimes had stirred a national outrage, and affected others as well that had the same interest as him. Fortunately enough , now in the modern age, anime fans aren't looked down as being the devil incarnate as before, and perhaps that's why I thought that Akihabara, anime maid cafe, and other things in relevance could existed. Just last year, an anime movie had managed to become a worldwide known phenomenon, called Kimi no na wa or widely known as "Your Name", in English. Its dominance is perplexing and magnificent, garnered numerous awards and amazing achievements as well, being able to be the first anime movie to beat most Ghibli films in term of profits and were very close toward taking down Spirited Away in being the most highest grossing animation movies of all time in Japan. In accordance to the ranking, Titanic and Frozen were almost taken out as well. Meanwhile, "Your Name" had turned out to be the most profitable anime movies of all time upon counting its overall box office performance throughout the world, and that had to count for a truly legendary feat. Also, the success of the movie could count for a positive outlook for anime fans altogether as well, as not all things related to anime are child porn and disgusting, nasty drawing. Upon accessing my own personal view, I believe that anime fans nowadays, especially at Japan aren't being showered by much of the older assumptions anymore, which is good to hear for some relief or two. People still comes in droves to every Comiket and anime festivals, a truly good sign. If I was wrong about my outlook however due to insufficient investigations, I don't really care either way because staying negative isn't good.

Going back to the reddit comments, I was aghast (not really) seeing there's a lot of assumptions and unaware beings at play. Like I had said before, anime is a niche medium, and its movies doesn't exactly capable of earning much profits unlike, let's say, most real life drama that received movie adaptation, and heck, even a random new property could beat most earning that usually had been collected by anime movies thus far, like Get Out for example, a new horror entry that focused on racism. It's a far cry to make a profit comparison against the likes of major Hollywood franchises and Disney's creation, highlighting just how much of a bad stroke it would get if something like Ordinal Scale were to happened to any within its categories. It is not about wanting to reduce the scope of available and willing viewers and being judgemental, its more leaning to recouping the cost for the production of an anime movie that they, the creators sincerely deserved in trying to make back if its good and satisfying. There's nobody in this world that would be happy in knowing that they couldn't make their investment back, and its hypocritical to stand there speaking for yourself without taking in light of the opinions of those that's directly involved in a certain project. If you were to be put into the shoes of a person that's suffering from the failure or the leaking of your own hard work, then I imagine everyone would act just like those so called goddamn, ignorant, stupid Japanese executives. I think that the action done by the uploader of things concerned in this very post are very dumb, selfish and they should've think before they acted. It's good that those guys are supporting the things they've loved and all but don't ruin it for others as well if you are looking to make an earning/name for yourself by being the person responsible in the production of an illegal clip. I wouldn't say I'm gonna be sad though if this action continues and Malaysia were to be put into a blacklist, because we're totally deserved it for all the countless bootlegged anime that's still being on sale everywhere around this country.

A picture gallery.

Don't have much of an idea for the post dated here right now in errr, 23:42 am (pm?) on Friday so, I'm gonna upload some pictures that I had captured earlier in the morning. Visited a zoo, but its small so there isn't much species around. The entrance is free however, and it was still developing. There's a few interesting animals like the ostrich which seems like its trying hard to attack me with its beak, and there's also a monkey that's swinging in its appropriate area. It's not exactly a normal monkey however and I don't know the actual name of it. Actually, I had a lot more to say about this post right here but I kept spending too much talking to friends over at discord that I forget to work on this one instead. Hell, there's no reader anyway probably so, I'm just gonna post whatever I could, whenever I could. Tomorrow, I'm planning on constructing a lengthy post however about an interesting topic that I've just found, discovered at first by my close discord friend and he gave the idea to me. Gonna had to get started on it tomorrow. So, down here below are some pictures from the mini zoo and the surrounding coastal areas. Good night.

Something in mind.

19/04/2017

Guess I wouldn't be re-using the pink font. I didn't make any post yesterday because it was a particularly busy day, as usual as it seems for this semester that would be ending by next month as I got two class at the same Tuesday unlike the other days. I'm about to finish this 3 years course, that would ended in December. The route traveled through to reach this far isn't particularly lengthy or bothersome fortunately, and my memory is pretty shit that I had forgotten half about the things I'd experienced last year or so anyway. I'm thinking of posting some of my thought in this post that I had been experiencing lately in a discord server, but I'm incapable of structuring a coherent piece that would focused on things after things in an orderly fashion so this rumbling of mine will be truly random and all over the place. Anyway, it's a place where I have been hanging out lately for the past 2 months, I think. It's a great server, filled with good people and a few that I managed to make friends with. I had mentioned this before but those friends there are primarily the reason for the resurrection of my blog, and perhaps, would drive me to return back to working on my novel as well as it has been abandoned for son long. I had always wanted to continue on it but alas, I'm simply too lazy to do it, or I may have no will as nobody is really reading it and I'll remained unmotivated, at least until a few weeks back.

So it is to say, loneliness is a negatively dramatic expression that would impacted just about anybody. It is a sad thing, conjured by the nothingness in life, created by the attention of no one and lingering depression from further emptiness. Well, to say that it isn't that bad like I've described it is inevitable but to believe that there isn't any level to it is wrong, even if there's nobody really saying that. Some out there may felt a tiny speck of quiet, and some would be driven to the edge of insanity due to the feeling alone. For most people, it is part of the basic needs to make for communication, because as proven throughout the history of mankind, talking to others would helped anyone in various ways, and there's no denying that communicating will assist in quelling that feel of loneliness. Certain people might not care if they wouldn't be able to speak with anyone at all, but that's rare alone I believed, due to the fact that everyone out there are given with feeling, though many might disregarded the ability of being able to "feel" for their own self motivation and thinking.

Speaking of myself, I'm a very emotional man, that suffered from loneliness myself in the past, due to past events of abandonment, bullying and severe beating, delivered by someone that I'm still living with in the same household. Fortunate enough, he isn't what he's used to be, but he still make dumb decision there and then which greatly angered me but there's not much for me to do, because they are reaching their 50s and at the very least, it isn't a decision that would make the family fall apart. Going deeper into my personal history shall I not, perhaps at a later date. Being lonely I'm still am, though it may have stemmed from me being purposely immature and needing attention given to me from time to time, even though that I'm a matured adult by now that has reached an age of 23. Not hoping to being seen as an individual that liked to brag, I had come across many obstacles, and undergoes throughout a lot of trials. Honestly however, it wasn't never something that would killed or ruined the heart of even the most bravest men, not worthy of considering suicide for but I knew a lot, read there and that, am familiar with numerous circumstances of self discovery but here I am, still being affected by mere loneliness and lack of attentions. To be honest, I don't actually think that I really knew what loneliness really does meant, because I had never spent that too long of a time without talking or seeing somebody and I'm always surrounded by people these days, and have quite an amount of real life companions. So, its sufficient enough to say that I might be just too goddamn selfish and should probably get shot in the head.

I am not saying that those that liked being noticed of by others are weak of course, as the entire things I'm typing here is of my opinion alone, and shouldn't be taken seriously as it is no word of a wise man, uttered by someone that is unknown from the internet. I think that we, as human beings, should always be with someone, or get into contact into anyone that we cared for, if we could. It isn't so much as that feeling of being alone would help shape you into a more determined being capable of withstanding countless challenges or at the very least, offered you the ability to survive without communication, it is that from talking to others alone that will to transform your life into better things. We learned from our experiences, and it comes in any shape of forms, even in language. I don't think anybody could learn how to passed well in school without the guidance of a teacher, unless they were born as geniuses, that is. Sure, exception remains, and many has been able to go on and on with zero interruption or feedback from anybody, but I doubted that the person would be normal. I'm not asking for anyone to warped themselves into society, if they shan't, as nobody should push a person toward following their own ideology. Honestly, I think that communicating will always be fruitful, be it in either good or bad consequences. For those that had anguished from the fact that interacting with another has caused them miseries in any sort of ways, at the end of the day, they still needed assistance, be it from the doctors of their families. It isn't possible to go on peacefully without communicating alone, and that's perhaps why I'm always sad and bothered that no one would answer me sometimes. Who knew, maybe it is the best way to toughened yourself and be ready for a quiet moment or two. Not much is really set into stone in this world.